Rifle Clean up This Weekend

The annual Rifle Clean up is happening this coming Saturday, August 27th, and will involve the usual projects to help maintain the canyon. The Town of Rifle has fully embraced climbing, not only allowing us to bolt new routes, but also make other improvements like bridges and benches, and this is a great way to show our thanks for their continued support. In years past, this has included trash removal, bridge building, trail maintenance, anchor replacement, and more, and this year there’s an added twist.

Looking to take things to a new level, the crew behind the event is introducing the Game of SPEW (Send Points for Elitist Wankers). Basically poking fun at every stereotype you’ve ever heard about the place, it also adds a “competitive” aspect to the event, while still keeping the low key vibe it’s known for (after all, Rifle climbers really aren’t into anything that detracts from SENDING!) At the end of the day, prizes will be awarded to the climbers with the highest and lowest SPEW points. A little more insight from organizer Andrew Bisharat:

“The Game of SPEW (Send Points for Elitist Wankers) was devised to determine which climber is having the most fun (i.e., who is the best). Unlike other climbing competitions, which involve grading systems that make no sense and force perfectly good rock climbers to spend all of their time training on plastic (triple negative points for thinking plastic climbing is cool), and also unlike the hyper-inflated personal-grading competition of 8a.nu, the Rifle Game of SPEW is not just about how hard you climb. No, no. It’s all about style … and, of course, about not being a gumby or douche. The Game of SPEW is simple: You earn points by being rad (redpointing, onsighting, helping with clean-up projects, doing things that are fun), and you lose points when you’re a douche. At the end of the day, we add them up and see who wins the title of being the biggest SPEW Lord in Rifle.”

A few of my favorite ways to gain points:

Unwanted Beta – Tell a dogging climber he is doing it wrong and offer him the right beta. 200 pts
Mullet – Climbing with a mullet. Points count once per day. 300 pts
Ego Declaration – Tell a group of strangers that you are Rifle’s best climber. 500 pts
Draw Thief – Catch any non-climber stealing a draw and make them put it back 5,000 pts
Calling The Redpoint – Loudly tell at least 5 people that you’re about to send your project (must be a route that you haven’t sent, but have worked on). Then send. 750 pts
Debaser Naked with Watermelon – Send Debaser naked with watermelon hanging off of harness. 3,500 pts
Multi-pitch top-out – Top out either of Rifle’s two multi-pitch routes. 5,000 pts

And a few of the best penalties:

Driving Around – After parking for the first time of the day, penalty points will be earned every time you move your car to a different parking lot. -200 pts/move
Fall off Bridge – Falling off a bridge into the creek -1,000 pts
Hard Catch – Getting called out for giving a climber a hard catch. -1,000 pts
Prolonged Dogging Sesh – Take too much time working a route, as deemed by the belayer or climber waiting for route. -1,000 pts
Manpris – Get caught wearing manpris. -200 pts
Belayer Yell – Yelling at your belayer in a tone that suggests you are angry/upset. -400 pts

The usual after party will again be held at the community house, and is brought to you by the Rifle Climber’s Coalition, Wolverine Publishing, and Rock and Ice magazine. In addition to the gear raffle and endless dance tunes, this year there’s a costume party, where you are encouraged to come dressed up as a route in the canyon (and which will help you boost your SPEW points.)

If you’re looking for a fun way to give back, and think you’ve got what it takes to throw down some serious SPEW points, then head on over to Rifle this weekend for what should be a great time!